Friday, July 9, 2010

Nothing Corporate

Giant mountains of stress prevented me from sleeping at all last night. By 6am, I was fairly convinced that I would never sleep again. With a list of goals for the day, I went upstairs to talk to my mom. She was getting ready to leave for work. What I found out from her was that she happened to have my Ativan (or Atavan; whichever), which went missing several months ago. It's not a big deal since I never really took it, but I downed one this morning and it knocked me out until 6pm.

When I woke up at 6pm, I got horrible, horrible news: I am not going to the Something Corporate concert that I've been looking forward to for months. I want to preface this explanation with two clarifications: 1) I am sad, I am extremely disappointed, and I am brokenhearted, but I am not angry. I do not blame Pat. 2) Something Corporate broke up years ago and only recently got back together for one last tour to promote their Greatest Hits album. They will never tour again.

Pat texted me around 5:30 with a 5-part message begging me not to be angry, apologizing profusely, offering to buy me a t-shirt at the show, and explaining why I cannot go to the concert of a lifetime. He was explaining to his girlfriend why he was dying to go and why he was going no matter what. He hadn't gotten to the part about me going with him when Catherine (his girlfriend) agreed, saying it was a good idea, and wanting to go with him. I understand. I do. She wants to have a vacation with her boyfriend where they actually get to have some alone time. I get that. I can't help feeling devastated, though.

My very first reaction when I read Pat's texts was, "Wow, that really sucks. Better be the best t-shirt ever, lol" And I stand by that. I wasn't angry. I was just incredibly sad. Now I find I have secondary thoughts that mostly revolve around resentment. I hate that I had these thoughts, but I resented that Catherine gets to go see a concert I'm dying to see when she doesn't even know who the hell Something Corporate is. I resent the fact that she completely "forgot" all the times I've mentioned the concert and talked about it excitedly over the past few months. I shouldn't be, but I almost feel angry with Catherine.

I wasn't lying when I said that I understand why she wants to spend quality alone time with her boyfriend. I get why she wants to go out of town with him and only him. It's just not fair. I can't drive. I don't have the money to get there on my own. Jordan said he would go with me, but he has to work that day.

For some reason, the concert being on the day after my birthday makes me feel worse. I was kind of looking at it as a birthday party.

Well, that's enough depression and self-pity. It's not the end of the world. It sucks, but hey, maybe Something Corporate will decide to get back together again for "one last tour". Cher did it. Something Corporate could be like Cher.

2 comments:

  1. I just want to say that you are being so nice in this situation and I can tell how painfully sad it is for you. :( I even heard from you about the concert and how excited you were about it. Maybe something will happen and you could go by some kind of random occurrence/miracle. Maybe Jordan can get it off. Who knows. I really hope you could go. :(

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  2. Thanks, Frank =) That means a lot. I really hope I get to go, but if I don't, it's not that bad. I saw Fall Out Boy. That should be enough to last forever, lol ;) *Hugs* You rock.

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