Tuesday, September 28, 2010


Note: I won't spoil Devil, so this is safe to read. I would "ruin" The Happening, but it existing kind of beat me to it.

I finally saw Devil! Everyone kept saying that M. Night Shyamalan's latest flick was like The Happening (his last one), but in an elevator. People are retarded. Firstly, there are no goddamn plants in Devil. Secondly, Mark Wahlberg was thankfully absent. The biggest problem with The Happening was that NOTHING HAPPENED. Shit actually happened in Devil. And it was creepy.

I know I'm easily freaked, but Devil didn't just creep me out in the theatre. I came home and was still creeped out. I kept turning on every light in the basement just to walk 30 feet from the family room to my bedroom. Before kicking Jordan out, I made him walk me to my room to deposit my insulin/glucometer/other crap so I wouldn't have to go back to the family room alone. Then I ran from the front door to my bed and cowered under the covers for a few minutes. Oh yeah, I'm a chicken.

Maybe I shouldn't give Devil too much credit (the killer from Scream still freaks me out about public bathrooms), but I did like the movie. It was actually funny on occasion, and had more of a plot than Phonebooth. (Okay, so I haven't seen it, but really, it's all in a phonebooth.)

I was going to make this entry all about Devil, but during the movie they played the trailer for Let the Right One In. Oh, I'm sorry, I meant "Let Me In", the shot-for-shot remake of the 2008 Swedish film, Let the Right One In. What the hell, Hollywood? Is Swedish too difficult? They put these handy little translations at the bottom of the screen in whatever language you do understand, so you don't even have to know the language.

It makes me insanely angry that not only are they not crediting the original film, but they're turning it from a romantic drama/horror into a "horror/thriller". Doesn't sound like a big difference, but it is. Rather than being a subtly disturbing film with an undercurrent of doomed preadolescent romance, they're trying to turn it into a make-you-jump thriller. And as much as I love Chloe Mortez of Hit Girl fame, she is no Lina Leandersson. She plays the role too hardened-by-the-world, apathetic emo-teen. Lina (the original Eli -- vamp girl) was much more matter-of-fact, but she retained a childlike innocence. Chloe just lacks that. Maybe I'm biased from watching Kick-Ass too much, but to me, she just doesn't hit the right note.

I also love Elias Koteas, but I don't love him enough to forgive the producers for this bullshit. There are just too many things wrong with remaking a movie that came out two years earlier just because it's not in English. Other countries use subtitles. They don't spend millions of dollars making the exact film over again in their language of choice.

Enough about movies. Well, I've got nothing else to say.

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