Saturday, October 9, 2010

Oh, Jew

I should preface this story with an explanation for the nickname "Jew". My brother's friend Andrew (Jew) is not Jewish, however, Dave has several friends named Andrew and thus we had to give them all distinct nicknames. Sheltered Kid (alias: Jew, Andrew, Kid) was a much too long nickname. We would have called him Drew, but that was taken by another Andrew. This was back when I got Sheltered Kid and Drew confused, and I mistakenly called Sheltered Kid "Drew". Someone thought I'd said "Jew", and thus a nickname was born.

Jew: (Referring to Dave and Sam asleep on the air-mattress) Why do people always fall asleep around me?

Me: Maybe you're a sedative.

Jew: Yeah, I'm like morphine!

Me: You murder people in high doses?

Jew: No, there's enough of me to go around, but you wouldn't want to take all of me at once.

From here the conversation became mostly "Oh god"s and childish giggles. Ah, sexual innuendo. Also, this situation was made all the more hilarious by the fact that Jew is quite possibly the only 17-year-old who knows less about sex and identifying sexual innuendo than Mickey Mouse (classic Mickey, not adult website Mickey). Hence the nickname "Sheltered Kid".

It also helps that both his parents are ministers. Man, I love the holidays. Happy Thanksgiving!

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