Tuesday, November 9, 2010

This City Sucks at Planning

In my city, I live in a section of town nicknamed the P-Patch. Why? Well, I can't say why I live here, but I can tell you the retarded reason behind the name. Every street name in this area starts with the letter P. I wish I was joking. Trying to give directions here is hell. Unless someone's familiar with the area, it's almost guaranteed that, given only street names, they will never arrive at their destination.

I've lived here for 12 years, and up until 4 years ago, I was constantly getting lost. Sounds pathetic, right? Okay, it kind of is, but seeing as all the street names are also retardedly similar, it makes it a bit more difficult. Also, not only had I just moved to the area, I'd just moved to the city.

Here are some examples of the street names here: Pine, Pim, Passmore, Pinemore, Primrose, Princeton. And all of those (aside from Pim) are within at least two streets of my house.

As far as directions go, there are two main streets that everyone can seem to find, since they border the P-Patch: Pine and Lake (which connects to Pentagon. Or Peach?). So long as I give directions beginning at one of those streets, people can almost make it to my place without getting lost more than once. It works a lot better if they start from Pine, though.

Clearly the people who designed this city thought it would be cute and kitschy. Or they were evil. Either way, they severely underestimated the disorienting nature of a network of streets with barely differentiated names.

They did do one thing right, though. They had Placid connect to Lake. (Corner of Lake and Placid? Eh? Maybe I'm the only one who laughs at that.)

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