Friday, December 10, 2010

Deans and Swackets

I'm just going to go ahead and say what we're all thinking: What the hell are jean jackets? Who ever thought they were a good idea? Why do they exist? I don't have all the answers, but I do have a sneaking suspicion that they are the bastard children of drinking, denim, and bad decisions. I know that condemning denim jackets (Deans? Jenim?) is akin to blasphemy for a Canadian (especially considering the "Canadian Tuxedo"), but I just can't help it. They're HIDEOUS!

Now, I suppose I'm being a little hypocritical here since I do own a jean jacket, but I've seen the light. I've discovered the error of my ways! I'm reformed! But I do feel as if I'm betraying Stacy and Clinton. I'm currently watching an episode of What Not to Wear, and they didn't bat an eye when the woman being made over picked out (and bought!) a denim jacket. The horror!

To me, denim jackets are as atrocious as those ridiculous "jackets" made out of sweater material. What are they? Swackets? Jetters? Why must everyone swap the fabrics around? Denim should cover your ass. Sweaters... well, they should look like themselves. Jackets are supposed to add a touch of sophistication to an outfit. A swacket (that's my favourite -- it's so fun to say!) adds a touch of confusion. Like someone's sweater ate their jacket and now has indigestion.


Okay, I'm sure some of you are thinking, "You're crazy. That just looks like a jacket." Maybe you're even thinking, "You know, that's kind of cute." And if you are, then you, my friend, are of a different opinion. Personally, though, there is nothing more disorienting (in regards to shopping) than finding a jacket you think is cute, only to take hold of the sleeve and think you've grabbed the wrong garment. You drop the sleeve and check behind the coat, looking for the sweater you must have accidentally grabbed. Nothing. Thinking you were probably just mistaken, you take hold of the sleeve once more and rub the fabric between your fingers. It's then that you realize what you're actually holding: Something that should not exist.

I'm sure the question that's now on all of your minds is, "Why are you writing about this? Who cares about fashion?" To be honest, I don't. Not really. But within every genre or subject there is something that I can rant about. And thus, a fashion rant! Enjoy!(?)

As a bonus, here's Hugh Jackman as Wolverine in a Canadian tuxedo!

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