Thursday, December 16, 2010

"HAVE", DAMMIT!

I will admit that I can, on occasion, be a bit annoying when it comes to correcting others' grammar. I usually try not to do it online since that never leads to anything remotely intelligible. However, I am extremely guilty of grammar and spelling corrections in casual conversation. (Jordan can attest to that -- when he's not mad at me for correcting him).

I do have to say, right off, that I am in no way a grammar or spelling expert, but I do understand the basic conventions of the English language and can function in intelligent conversation (at least as far as the grammar/spelling is involved -- I don't know anything about physics or Schopenhauer -- except how to spell his name -- which I totally Googled.).

You may be wondering where this is going. If you assumed it would end in a grammarant (that's fun to combine), you were right.

The grammar faux pas du jour (four French words that actually make sense -- I'm on a roll) is the mistaken substitution of of in place of have. "Would OF"? No, I believe you mean "would HAVE". Especially considering that of is not a verb, it is a preposition, and thus cannot take the place of have, as have is indeed a verb.

I am fully aware that ranting about grammar on the internet is akin to ranting about the smell of fish at a surf'n'turf restaurant. Not everything there is fish, but you can't avoid its scent.

TL;DR? Of is a preposition, not a verb, no matter how much you wish it were. I am a crazy person.


P.S. I was trying desperately hard not to use the phrase "Grammar Nazi", and I did it! But the victory felt empty if no one knew, so I had to share, completely defeating the purpose. Told you I was crazy.

No comments:

Post a Comment