Saturday, April 16, 2011

Fellow Canadians

I have discovered a horrible secret. It involved the violent agenda of a once-beloved (or at least somewhat trusted) department store and its parent company.

What am I talking about? SEARS. Technically, it's less that I've really discovered anything and more just realized what's been staring us all in the face for years. The NAME. SEARS. As in, "OH GOD, IT BURNS!" As in, scalding water on your crotch! I never really thought about the name of said store. It was always discussed in one and only one way; as a store, so I never looked any deeper.

I guess you all know what this means. Zellers, we're gonna figure out what you're hiding and then be pretty damn horrified.

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